There’s an uneasy feeling that comes with not knowing—a quiet discomfort that sits at the back of your mind. The need to understand every detail, every nuance, has always been a part of me. It wasn’t until life got tough that I realised just how much this drive to know had shaped who I am.
In social situations, this urge to know can be both helpful and harmful. It’s not about trying to please people but more about needing to understand what’s going on around me. I’m constantly checking in with others, trying to figure out:
- How they’re feeling
- What’s bothering them
But sometimes, knowing too much can be painful.
Lately, I’ve started pulling back, spending more time alone because the burden of knowing everything has become overwhelming. I used to think I needed all the answers, but now I’m starting to see that it’s okay not to know everything. It’s about protecting my peace.
- If someone wants to reply, they will.
- If you’re meant to be accepted, it’ll happen.
- If you’re good enough, someone will notice.
Letting go of the need to control every outcome is tough, but I’m slowly realising that we can’t force things to happen. It’s hard to stop wanting to know everything—it feels unnatural, like I’m pretending not to care. But maybe, over time, I’ll learn to truly let go.